


Beast

by Strange_bird



Category: Ylvis
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Blood and Gore, Brotherly Love, Fluff and Angst, Horror - but mainly in the latter part, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sexual Tension, Sibling Incest, Vampire Slayer(s), fangs, vampire!vegard
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-10
Updated: 2015-02-12
Packaged: 2018-02-28 23:04:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2750435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strange_bird/pseuds/Strange_bird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was a burning sensation, as his neck was pierced by deadly fangs, and a primal fear arose in him. He started squirming to get up, but all of a sudden Vegard was no longer trembling and weak – no, he held Bård in an iron grip, hungrily latching on to him as he sucked and lapped at his wounded neck, drinking away his life, as he had his first taste of human blood. </p><p>His own blood.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Irreversible

**Author's Note:**

> So uh... This is Ylvis and vampires.
> 
> Yeah, the concept is a bit silly and I apologize for that. I just - erhm, I`ve watched a few cheesy vampire movies in my time ;)
> 
> This is a FANG fic, hahah...
> 
> Anyway, I am certainly NOT a writer and also a bit of a novice... This is my first fic - so please be kind. It`s a bit awkward, but I really felt the need to contribute with something after reading so many of the amazing stories in this fandom! 
> 
> I am tremendously grateful if anyone will bother reading this and any critique is always welcome. 
> 
> Here we go :)

Bård held his breath, when he walked into the darkness. He was quick to close the door behind him and then lock it. He tucked the key away in the front pocket of his jeans – just in case… Not that a shut door would make much of a difference, but it still felt better to be precautious. There was a moment of hesitation. His heart was pounding furiously in his chest, and he tried to reason with himself.

_He wouldn’t hurt me… He wouldn’t…._

 

He strained his eyes and took a look around, scanning the room in search of a familiar form. The air was moist, and the old attic felt somehow claustrophobic. Bård couldn’t imagine how it must be to spend every day in this confined space, to never be able to enjoy the warmth of the sun. The attic was a prison, there was no denying it.

His gaze searched the room. He didn’t have to look for long, though. Vegard lay huddled on the dusty wooden floor, curled up like a small animal. He was completely still. Maybe he was sleeping? Honestly, Bård couldn’t even tell if he was breathing. The thought made him shudder.

_He probably isn’t… Do they even breathe?_

 

“Go away, Bård…”

The sound of his brother’s voice made Bård jump. He made a startled noise, however quickly regained his composure. Vegard didn’t bother to move, so Bård took a few cautious steps, wanting to have a closer look at his brother. An image flashed before his inner eye and it made him queasy. In a flashback he saw how Vegard was struggling helplessly beneath the beast, spluttering as the creature ripped his throat open and bit down on him with a ferocious snarl… The images of dread were etched into Bård`s mind, his own terrified screaming resounded like an echo in his head.

_I should have done something. Anything. I should have fought it. I should have fought for him. Why didn’t I? Why didn’t I help him? I was fucking scared out of my mind, that’s why! You`re a fucking coward, Bård! He was protecting me. I did nothing… I watched that ugly fucker… Do this to him…_

 

Shame washed over Bård as he stood there. He felt his chest ache, when Vegard finally turned towards him. It was a devastating blow to watch his brother in this state.

His skin was grey and dull, dark circles underneath his once beautiful eyes. His curly head was a sticky mess, and he looked thin – so thin and so miserably vulnerable…

_You are dying._

 

Whatever fear Bård felt, it evaporated and gave way to a much stronger notion. This was his big brother and he was suffering, and Bård couldn’t let him waste away, not like this, _not ever_. Bård met his gaze and felt his stomach drop, as he realized just how changed his brother was. It had only been a week, yet it felt like a lifetime had passed by since the incident.

Vegard`s dark brown eyes had always had a warm glow to them, a spark so endearing most people couldn’t help but feel drawn to him, Bård being no exception. It was playful and calm at the same time. It was what made Bård squirm in delight when his big brother laughed heartily and pulled him in for an all encompassing embrace. It was kindness.

_It was home._

 

Now all he saw was darkness. There was nothing familiar in this void, nothing left of the warmth that used to shine from within. The creature before him – it wasn’t his big brother – it wasn’t even human. It was a beast – it was a _predator_ , Bård realized as his undead brother slowly got up on his knees and started edging closer, eying him hungrily with obscurely dilated pupils – breathing heavily – _no, not breathing_ \- taking in his scent. Bård felt an instant urge to bolt. But he didn’t.

Because at this very moment his heart betrayed him, as he caught something in Vegard`s otherwise cold eyes, a fleeting expression of something so decidedly human. His brother came to a halt, a pained noise escaping his throat.

“I can’t…” he whispered. “You have to go. Please go. Otherwise, I might… I might…”

 

But really, that was all the encouragement Bård needed. Because now he couldn’t fail to realize that the Vegard he knew was still there – trapped somewhere in that darkness, helpless and alone. He didn’t want his brother to perish. This time it would be final and Bård knew that very well. The mere thought brought tears to his eyes, because he knew this was exactly what Vegard was trying to achieve. He was starving himself to death.

Bård had a hard time remembering how to breathe, his airways felt constricted. He took another step towards his brother and reached down for him, a trembling hand suspended between them.

“Vegard,” he whispered. “I want to help you.”

Vegards eyes widened in disbelief. “No. Please go. Leave me alone, Bård.”

“But I want to –“

“I said NO!”

But Bård took another step, finally closing the space between them. He knelt before his brother and gently caressed the pale face before him. Vegard`s skin felt icy cold beneath his fingertips. But his eyes were no longer so. Bård felt his heart swell when so many emotions flashed in those dark eyes: _fear, hunger, sorrow…_

_And love._

 

Vegard was trembling now, as if the touch caused him pain.

“Leave me alone,” he whimpered. “Please… For once just listen to me!”

Bård continued edging closer to the struggling figure before him, until their chests were pressed together. “ _Please…”_ Vegard whispered. But Bård took a deep breath and then proceeded to help his brother the only way he knew how to. He grabbed the reluctant body and pulled him into a tight embrace. Vegard gasped and went completely rigid, although he didn’t move away. Bård felt his heart racing, but there was no response from the cavity of Vegard`s chest.

Bård whispered softly into his ear: “I want to help you. Let me help you, Vegard.”

“You don’t understand… I could hurt you.”

“I trust you.”

With those words Bård exposed his throat by craning his neck and then shut his eyes closed.

_Please forgive me. This is all I can do for you now._

 

Everything went still for a moment. Vegard seemed to be struggling with himself, but then he moved cautiously. His trembling hands were now caressing the exposed skin of his brothers neck. He felt Vegard`s breath tickling his throat – _so apparently they do breathe_ \- and a sickly smell reached his nostrils as he inhaled sharply, fighting a sudden impulse to run off.

_This is what death smells like…_

It was the most terrifying experience Bård ever had, exposing himself like this. Gone was every last bit of his usual confidence. Yet, he didn’t move an inch. Because there was no other choice, really. He had to do this, he told himself, because Vegard`s life depended on it, whatever kind of life was left for him. Vegard pressed his lips to the small of his brother’s neck and placed a gentle kiss. _Almost like a lover._ Bård pushed away this most unholy thought, but couldn’t help feeling a bit dizzy when his brother licked delicately at the sensitive skin below his ear.

 _Okay, this probably feels better than it ought to_...

 

A strange tingling sensation spread from the tip of his fingers and made his body feel warm and willing to indulge in whatever was going to happen. Bård felt his legs go numb and fell forwards, as he all but collapsed in Vegard`s embrace. Suddenly he understood this was a part of the game, it wasn’t the old Vegard causing him to feel like this, oh no, this was the predator taking over his brother’s mind…

_… this is exactly how these bloodthirsty bitches will subdue their victims right before they -_

 

A sharp pain shot through him. It caused him to scream and writhe in his brother’s arms. It was a burning sensation, as his neck was pierced by deadly fangs, and a primal fear arose in him. He started squirming to get up, but all of a sudden Vegard was no longer trembling and weak – no, he held Bård in an iron grip, hungrily latching on to him as he sucked and lapped at his wounded neck, drinking away his life, as he had his first taste of human blood. His own blood.

Bård grabbed a handful of his brother’s dark curls. Vegard was beyond reach as he licked and suckled, and savored the essence of the warm body beneath him. He fought for urgency and moaned against his brother’s skin. “You taste so good…”

His little brother let out a whimper and then something akin to a breathy moan, suddenly overcome with a strange mix-up of pleasure and pain. It was completely overwhelming and so unexpected, the way every inch of his being yearned for more. Now he understood why the victims of these monsters so often went mad if they did not turn. Bård stopped fighting the inevitable and went completely limp, as his vision began to blur and all he saw was a blinding light – so beautiful, it was like nothing he`d ever experienced and he held on to Vegard as for dear life. Or the opposite, in fact.

 

Then it was over. All of a sudden the overwhelming sensation ceased and the light faded much quicker than it had appeared. Bård found himself sprawled out on the floor as he slowly regained consciousness and then raised his gaze to meet that of his brother.

Vegard was kneeling above him, clutching his hand and looking utterly concerned. Tears were gathering in his eyes. It seemed as if the predator had vanished. This was so decidedly his brother.

_Now I see you._

 

It was obvious that Vegard was in anguish. Dark red was smeared all over his beautiful face, his fangs still exposed and the front of his shirt was soaked in blood as well. It was a strange contrast to his ivory skin. His skin… Bård immediately saw how strikingly different he was from moments before. His complexion was no longer grayish and dull – it had worked! This was a tremendous relief, although now he felt rather sick himself.

Bård felt the warm liquid still drippling down his own throat. He carefully reached up to feel the wetness of the small wound. Vegard looked completely lost. The ferocious beast had turned into a lost puppy.

“I hurt you…” he whispered and there was tremendous sadness in his voice. “How could I do that?”

Bård couldn’t muster the strength to speak just yet. Instead he let out a pained groan. This obviously upset Vegard even more.

“I am so sorry!”

“It`s ok… We`re ok.”

That was a lie and they both knew it.

“How can you even pretend that? I am a monster. I am a fucking monster, Bård!”

_Yes – and alive. Sort of._

 

“I can`t even kill myself. You know, I could face the sun, but – “

“Don’t even say that.”

“But I want to! I just want it to end – so badly… But I am too damn afraid. Now look at me – look what I did to you!”

Just like that Vegard began sobbing and pulled his baby brother into a tight embrace.

“I love you so fucking much.”

This kind of closeness was so different from the one they shared only moments earlier. It was familiar and it gave comfort to them both, even though those bloody fangs were still exposed. The younger one was still weak and barely managed to hold on to his brother. He still felt very dizzy and a throbbing pain began spreading from his neck. But the risk of turning, the fear of sharing in his brother’s miserable existence, the possible outcome still wasn’t nearly as frightening as the thought of losing him entirely. He felt so lost without his brother`s loving presence. Bård knew that if Vegard died, then a part of him would perish too. Truth dawned upon him as he allowed his brother to gently rock him back and forth.

  _You are all I have._


	2. It all dies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: graphic depictions of violence.

_The creature snarled. She bared her teeth in a terrifying grimace, and crawled towards Bård, while fixing him with a menacing glare. Her every movement seemed deliberate, and Bård understood that she was considering how to approach him, waiting for just the right moment. Oh yes – she took her time…_

_But so did Bård._

 

_They eyed each other curiously, each assessing the enemy. The creature circled her prey, and Bård stood his ground. She was a feisty one, but he wasn’t intimidated. Her nostrils flared, as she took in his scent, and Bård scoffed._

_“Well, aren’t you an ugly motherfucker?”_

_The creature was wearing a dark blue cocktail gown, but there was nothing ladylike about the way she was sneering like a mad dog. Bård felt himself tense up as he readied himself for the fight. There was a moment of silence and then the walls resounded with a loud CRACK._

 

_The creature shrieked and stumbled backwards. Black liquid burst from her insides, and Bård instantly understood what had happened. He didn’t have to look in order to know that his brother was standing behind him, gun raised and ready to fire again. The silver bullet had penetrated her chest, but seemingly not the heart. Just then, Bård saw his opening. He raised his own weapon and leapt towards the wounded beast, reaching her in one gliding motion._

_This was his game, and Bård didn’t mind getting his hands dirty. Swooping in and going straight for the kill, confident and professional, as he was. His weapon of choice was a slender sword, a katana. Bård kept a steady hand, wielding his weapon with impressive elegance and perfectly measured force, as he drew the sharp blade through undead flesh, impaling the heart with one calculated SWOOSH._

_Just put the right amount of pressure on it._

 

_The creature let out a terrible scream. Her body convulsed and then evaporated into a cloud of grayish smoke. Bård rolled to his side, panting. He lived for the kill –but more so for these moments of bliss, when the fight was over and he was feeling high on the adrenaline that rushed through his body._

_Vegard was trying to catch his breath. He looked at his brother who was covered in gore and grinning like a madman. Vegard didn’t feel much like laughing himself. For a moment he had been seriously worried about Bård. Their timing was perfect, yet Vegard always felt sick to his stomach, whenever Bård would engage in close combat with one of those monsters._

_In reality, this was why they worked so well together. They were attuned and somehow managed to compliment each other’s weak points in such an effortless way. They were in perfect sync. Still, Bård was usually the one to take the lead, and he was also the one who preferred to get up close._

_Vegard was more considerate. He was an avid collector of gadgets, guns, bows, you name it… Not to mention a small library containing literature on every imaginable subject relevant to their business. Vegard eagerly tried engaging his bored sibling in the wonderful mechanisms of the crossbow or the principles of gravity, as he found this sort of knowledge very useful in a combat situation. His favorite method was a silver bullet. He took great pride in shooting with masterly precision and felt a surge of pride as the bullet would penetrate its designated target. POP!_

_Slightly less gory and a lot safer, Vegard reckoned. Now he was looking at his brother with a concerned frown._

 

_“You could be more careful, you know. Getting up close like that – eh, it`s really not cool, Bård.”_

_“Oh, come on, Veg… Honestly, it wasn’t even a close call. Besides, you had my back.”_

 

_Vegard went to him, and took a hold of his brother’s shoulders. He looked at him sternly, and no words were needed for what he was trying to convey. Bård met his gaze. Those eyes were piercing, a deep shade of blue that contrasted strangely with his flushed cheeks and the bright, sort of lopsided smile. Vegard felt queasy._

_Cocky little shit._

 

                                                       ---------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Bård awoke with a start. He didn’t realize he`d drifted off, but reckoned he must`ve been passed out for a few hours, because now his surroundings were eerily dark. The small space had gone from dark to pitch black, and he couldn’t even distinguish the outline of his fingers, as he stretched his hand before him. Bård strained his ears, but could only register the sound of his own ragged breathing. He felt a dull ache in his neck, and his back was sore from sleeping on the floor.

For a moment Bård was confused. He recalled being in Vegard`s arms, his own thundering heartbeat and that sharp pain, when his neck was pierced… _That tingling sensation, when his brother licked at his skin, as if every touch sent jolts of electricity through his body…_  His breath hitched at the memory, and he felt his cheeks burning with shame and confusion.

 

Bård realized that something was draped over him, and reached down to feel the smooth fabric of Vegard`s shirt. But he was no longer resting in his brothers arms… Bård barely sensed the pain in his neck anymore, as panic flooded him.

“Vegard?,” he called out anxiously.

_Silence._

 

Bård sat up straight and then hissed, as the movement caused strain on his wounded neck. His vision was filled by tiny dancing specks.

“Vegard!?”

He sensed a movement in the darkness, and was relieved to hear his brother’s quiet voice.

“I`m here…”

 

_Thank God._

 

Bård waited for a second, forcing himself to calm down. He strained his eyes, but couldn’t see Vegard in the darkness. _Although, he knew for sure that Vegard was able to see him…_ A fact that made Bård slightly uncomfortable.

Bård moved a bit, and realized he was next to the wall. He put his hand on it, and let it slide along the wooden surface until he reached something solid. He realized that his brother was leaning against the wall, only an arm’s length from his side.

“What time is it?”

His voice was hoarse, and his throat felt grainy as he spoke. He scooted a bit closer to his brother’s form. Vegard was quiet for a moment.

“I don’t know. Around midnight, I guess. You fell asleep….”

 

Bård realized it had been a stupid question to ask. The concept of time didn’t matter for Vegard anymore – not when he was here, locked up in perpetual gloom. They sat in awkward silence for a little while, before Bård spoke again.

“Vegard?”

“Yeah.”

“So uh… How do I look from over there?”

“Huh?”

“I mean… Is it true – all that night vision crap? Can you see me?”

“Yeah, I see you… Actually, you look like shit at the moment.”

“Thanks.”

_Silence…_

 

“Vegard?”

“Yeah.”

“I… I am sorry… For everything...”

“Stop. You don’t have anything to feel sorry for. This isn’t down to you.”

“But –“

“No, Bård. Shut up, okay? _Stop that_. It really isn’t helping. Besides, I was the one who nearly _killed_ you today… I was the one who… ” His voice cracked. “Oh God, Bård... I could never forgive myself if anything happened to you.”

 

Bård felt his brother tense up, and couldn’t help it but reach for him, desperately needing the closeness. His hand found Vegard`s in the dark, and he held on to it. It was cold, but otherwise familiar. Vegard squeezed his hand almost painfully hard, before he finally relaxed.

The brothers usually didn’t communicate feelings very well, mainly because they didn’t really need to verbalize their emotions in order to understand each other. But the abrupt change in their lives had left them painfully exposed. Bård felt somehow naked, because he couldn’t help himself, but to blurt out so many things that should probably be left unsaid. He was exhausted from the emotional strain. Apparently Vegard felt the same.

“Bård... I`m scared.”

“I know.”

 

Vegard let out a small sigh and their fingers intertwined. Bård felt terrible for holding onto Vegard in this selfish way, when all his brother wanted was to be at peace. He knew very well that he was the one keeping him in this limbo, forcing upon him a shadowy existence somewhere between life and death. Yet, Bård also acknowledged that he never really had a choice to begin with. Maybe love is kind, but it sure is selfish too.

_Because I could never let you go._

 

                                          ______________________________________________________________________________________________

 

_Bård never froze, but this one time he did._

_It all happened so fast. One moment he was focusing on the furious beast beneath him. It was a beautiful specimen – a younger looking male with a dark complexion, not unlike that of his brother`s. But Bård wasn’t easily fooled, and he was quick to yield his blade through the heart. He turned around only to be greeted by the sight that would later come to haunt his dreams._

 

_A second beast had pinned his brother down on the floor. Bård hadn’t even registered that there was another one… Vegard was squirming and struggling to aim his gun, but the creature slapped it away. Bård didn’t hesitate. He jumped the beast, wanting to impale it – but this time he slipped. The creature managed to push him off and then tore his katana out of his hands, hurling it away with an angry growl. Bård was on the ground, watching in terror as the vile creature grabbed his brother by the shoulders, lifting him up like a ragdoll._

_This was when he froze._

 

_Everything fell silent, as his world fell apart. He starred into his brothers’ wide eyes, and recognized the terror he felt. The creature buried its razor teeth in Vegard`s neck, and tore it open. Blood spattered the walls and ceiling, and the creature latched onto the open wound. Vegard convulsed and spluttered, and clawed at the creature to no avail._

_Bård wasn’t really sure if he was the one screaming, or if the horrifying sounds came from Vegard. He awoke from his stupor and immediately leapt towards the creature, crashing into it with all his weight. But it didn’t let go._

_Vegard was completely still now, and Bård desperately went for his katana. With a primal scream he slashed the monsters neck, severing its head from the shoulders in just one blow. The creature immediately evaporated._

 

_Bård fell to his knees and desperately cried out. His entire body shook with violent tremor, as he realized what had happened. There was blood, so much blood._

_“No, no, no… NO! PLEASE NO!!! Please…”_

_Bård was howling like a wounded animal, while he cradled his lifeless brother. He didn’t have the strength to do what Vegard would have wanted him to do, because he didn’t put him out of his misery, not even after several hours, when the inevitable happened and the cold limbs started twitching again. Instead, he clung to his brother – crying like a lost child, whispering words of encouragement, as the painful transformation went on. Sometimes there are just no right choices left._

 

_It takes a broken heart to know._


	3. From here to eternity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So if anyone is still reading this - thank you, thank you, thank you :D

 

“I `m not afraid of you.”

Vegard almost laughed at this. He felt cornered, but he couldn’t back down and he certainly couldn’t reach out for his little brother. Bård was standing in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest, considering him with something akin to suppressed annoyance. He looked younger than his age, baby blues and messy blonde hair, and freckles along the bridge of his nose. Vegard failed to give him a response, and apparently Bård refused to meet him halfway.

“I`m _not_ afraid of you,” he repeated.

Vegard straightened and met his gaze defiantly.

“You should be.”

 

A few days had passed since Bård had offered his blood in a last desperate attempt to save his brother. It had obviously worked, because Vegard was no longer dying. However, it did nothing to soothe his suffering. On the contrary.

He was now haunted by the image of his brother, sprawled out beneath him. Bård had felt so fragile in his arms, and Vegard could smell his fear. Worse even, he could smell his arousal.

 

This was something that could not be undone.

 

He`d _hurt_ his baby brother, this was bad enough, and is certainly wasn’t on purpose. Truth be told, Vegard had completely lost himself, when the beast took over… He couldn’t believe how easily he`d given in, and it scared him to no end. Since then he had avoided any close proximity with Bård. Whenever he would visit him in the attic, the older brother would simply shy away and refuse to let him near. _This could never happen again._

 

Bård was obviously angry now. He pursed his lips and refused to give in, stubborn as always.

“Fuck you,” he spat. “Fuck _this_. So what – now I`m supposed to just stay away and do nothing, while you _starve_ yourself to death?”

 

Vegard was painstakingly aware of his brother’s appearance. It was uncomfortably hot in the tiny attic, and Vegard was no longer affected by the heat, but his brother was… All of a sudden he couldn`t help but notice of how Bård`s t shirt was clinging to his dampened skin. _This was bad._ He could even _taste_ him across the room. That alluring mix of sweat and cologne, and pure intoxicating pheromones… It was like a sensatory overload, and it prickled his predatory instincts. It was delicious.

_It was Bård._

 

Vegard had tried to reason with his brother, although he knew it was probably fruitless. Bård was determined to sustain him, desperate to keep him alive. Truth be told, Vegard knew he was miserable too. Obviously, this was completely against the code. After all, Vegard was a _vampire_ now, and Bård had sworn an oath. He was a slayer, well they both had been… It had been Bård`s duty to prevent his brother from transforming, and he was expected to do this without hesitation. _He was supposed to put him out of his misery. He was supposed to kill him._ Bård had failed him by disregarding their pledge.

 

The younger brother was at a loss – and thus resolved to desperate measures. Usually Bård always hurried to lock the door, when he came to visit Vegard in the small attic. This time he deliberately left it unlocked, as if testing his brother’s response. He figured Vegard could’ve escaped at least a dozen times already, as it took a lot more than a locked door to stop a beast who was really keen. But he never attempted any such thing, and Bård was relieved as this saved him the unbearable pain of having to…

_No… Never!_

 

Now Bård reached outside, and switched on the lights in the hallway. The room was flooded with soft light, and Vegard winced. Then Bård leaned against the wall right next to the open door and cocked his head, as he simply considered at his brother. Vegard slowly raised his gaze, his eyes travelling from the doorway to Bård and back again… Flakes of dried blood were clinging to his ivory skin, and Bård knew what had to be done.

“Get up,” he said.

Vegard looked puzzled. “What?”

“Come on – we`re going out.”

“You can`t be serious!”

“Well, I am. You can`t stay locked up forever. “

 

Under the current circumstances, hiding Vegard was probably wise. It was a temporary solution to a permanent problem, but there seemed to be no acceptable alternatives. Bård simply couldn’t imagine how to keep his brother safe if he began roaming the streets of Oslo. The crowded city offered too many temptations for a newborn vampire. How was he supposed to keep Vegard away from prying eyes or treacherous sunlight, not to mention the constant danger of his own predatory instincts? What would he do if his brother couldn’t help himself and began to feed on random people? He would cause havoc, and if Bård didn’t do it, he was quite sure that some other slayer would soon be around to finish his brother off…

The young vampires were always the most dangerous, and Vegard had not yet managed to gain control over his urges. His brother could very well loose himself, when the instincts kicked in, so Bård kept him locked up and had done so ever since the transformation.

 

But staying in the confines of the tiny attic was not an option either. Well, not forever at least… Vegard was completely miserable like this, and it tormented Bård to watch his suffering. It wasn’t a life, not even for someone who was technically dead… Vegard`s behavior was beginning to resemble that of a trapped animal, aimlessly pacing the it’s cage. Bård had furnished the attic with a bed, but Vegard refused to rest. He had a wild look in his eyes, as claustrophobia and isolation slowly wore him down. So Bård realized that there was only one thing to do if he wanted his brother to keep on fighting…

“Let`s go out,” he persisted. “We won’t go far.”

Vegard seemed to contemplate this. He slumped his shoulders a bit – _resigned_.

“But… What if I can`t control myself?”

“Then I`ll manage.” Bård smirked just a bit. “What – have you no faith in my _awesome_ ninja powers?”

“Hah. Don’t flatter yourself… “

But Vegard obeyed nonetheless. He stood up and took a few hesitant steps ... Bård took a hold of his brother’s arm and led him quietly through the door.

_Oh God… Is this happening?_

 

They tiptoed through the hallway and down the stairs. Then Bård led him to the dark kitchen. He didn’t care to turn on the lights, but only pulled out a chair and Vegard sat down. The younger brother went for the sink and turned on the water. He immediately took a large swig and splashed some cool water onto his face, calming his nerves. Then he grabbed a towel and held it under the tap. Vegard watched his every move, but remained silent. Bård tossed the cloth at his brother.

“Here. Clean yourself up.”

“Why”

“Because you`re a mess.”

“Well, does it matter anymore?”

 

Apparently Bård didn’t have the patience for this sort of discussion. He walked over and snatched the towel out of Vegard`s hands, and then he leaned over him… _If Vegard had a pulse, it surely would have been racing._ Carefully Bård wiped his brother’s face and neck, cleaning away the flakes of dried blood. Vegard was uncomfortable with the closeness and more so startled to see how the cloth was quickly soaked in red. The realization made his chest hurt, as if there was still a beating heart in there. He remembered the taste of it, metallic and just a bit salty…

_Oh shit, Bård…_

 

Apparently Bård noticed his expression, because he quickly tossed the cloth into the bin, and then took a hold of his brother`s arm once again.

“Let`s go,” he whispered and tucked at his sleeve.

Vegard obeyed again and felt his world spinning, as they slowly walked through the darkened house and headed for the back door. The katana was leaning on the door frame, unsheathed. Vegard understood that his brother had taken precautions. _At least, he did that._

 

The cool night air enveloped them the moment they stepped outside. Vegard gasped. The sensation was magnificent after two weeks spent in a confined space. He felt Bård squeezing his arm, and managed to calm himself down. It was snowing and the ground was covered by a fine layer of white dust. The city lights shimmered in the distance, but the sounds of traffic appeared muffled somehow. The snow was illuminated by moonlight, and little puffy clouds were travelling across the night sky. It was a serene view… _It was lovely._ Vegard closed his eyes and enjoyed the prickling of snowflakes, as they landed on his skin. Bård released his arm, and Vegard turned to face him.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

Bård only shrugged. He hadn’t put on a jacket, and now he was shivering from head to toe. But he was smiling widely, nonetheless, and his blue eyes nearly outshone the stars. It was the first smile Vegard had seen for a while – since the incident, he realized. And Bård had a beautiful smile. His cheeks were tinted red and his messy blonde hair was all over the place. A strand of it fell into his eyes, and Vegard brushed it away, smiling too at his brother’s flushed appearance. He looked like a drunken angel.

 

Vegard knew that Bård had taken a huge risk by bringing him outside. So many things could happen... He was not starving anymore, but still he didn’t trust himself one bit. But Bård had given him a taste of freedom, and now he saw nothing but affection in those blue eyes. Bård had chosen his brother over the pledge, and at first Vegard was horrified by this decision, even angry with Bård for being so stubborn. But now he felt grateful as well. Because just then it dawned upon him that maybe – just maybe - there was still some sort of life for him to live…? Some sort of happiness within reach?

 

Vegard didn’t feel the cold, but Bård did. He was freezing and hugged himself to keep warm, but he couldn’t possibly bring himself to go back inside, not when Vegard was finally smiling right back at him, not when his eyes finally reflected hope and genuine happiness. He reached out for his big brother, and his bright eyes were irresistible.

“Come here,” he breathed.

Bård grabbed his brother by the waist and pulled him closer, not really sure what he was doing. He wondered if maybe he was going just a little bit mad, because the closeness made his chest ache and expand as if he was trying to hold his breath. He just kept pulling closer, so Vegard put a hand on his shoulder, keeping him at a safe distance. He looked slightly worried.

“You know, we really shouldn’t… get that close…”

But Bård only reached up at brushed the snowflakes out of his curly hair. They didn’t melt away, and he was starting to appear rather peculiar…

Bård chuckled: “You look like a giant dorky cupcake.”

Vegard laughed as well. “Well, at least I`m not the one who`s turning blue.”

“Yeah, we better go back inside…”

“Yeah… You`re right – but… Can I just…. I just need a moment.”

 

Bård understood. Now he was finally certain that Vegard was no monster, well not _entirely_. His brotherly affection had somehow managed to overrule that part.... Maybe it was just because he wasn’t starving anymore, but Bård couldn’t care. He desperately held onto that part of his brother that was still humane and affectionate, and _alive._

So Bård waited, and Vegard closed his eyes once again. He savored the smell of wet soil and gasoline, and pine trees… For once he enjoyed his newly advanced sense of smell. It didn’t matter that it was far past midnight. He wasn’t scared of the shadows anymore, and he felt the need to be acquainted with this darkness, considering the possibilities of a life like this. He still tried to ignore the fact that somehow eventually he would definitely have to _feed_ again… This was a blissful state of ignorance, how short it may be.

And of course - little did he know that something far more dangerous was lurking in those shadows.


	4. A river flows in you

_There was a particular episode from their early childhood, one that was always very vivid in Vegards memory._

_It was that summer, when Bård was 5 and Vegard was 8. This was one of those lazy nights in June, when the boys would be playing around in the garden, while their parents were in the kitchen, preparing dinner and listening to old folk songs on the radio. Sometimes the adults would waltz a bit, while humming along with a particularly catchy tune. The boys sometimes watched them through the open windows, and Vegard was old enough to notice the way their Papa would gaze at his wife, admiring the sway of her rounded hips and the way her curly hair bounced, when she was dancing around in the kitchen. She would blush like a schoolgirl and laugh, and then pull him in for a chaste peck, and then Papa responded by humming into the kiss. It was a tender sight. Bård scrunched up his little nose, looking utterly disgusted. But Vegard didn’t mind, not at all, because his mother had such a beautiful laughter and her smile was always the most genuine, when Papa was the one to earn it. She had soft features and her steps were so light, when their father was twirling her around like this. It was a loving routine, and they`d had many years of practice._

 

_Vegard wasn’t a romantic and didn’t really believe in the concept of soul mates. He`d never felt like this with any woman, that much was true. But he remembered those beautiful summer evenings, when the kitchen was bathed in soft light and his parents were dancing like a pair of silly teenagers. Then he recalled his little brothers embarrassed giggles, as he stood by his side and watched them. Bård would bite his lip in the most adorable way. He still did this, and Vegard still couldn’t help how it made his stomach flutter…_

_Maybe Vegard Ylvisåker could have believed in soul mates and true love, and happy ever after – maybe in a perfect world, when monsters were not real (and Bård would have been_ anyone _but his brother)._

_But now it was too late for happy endings._

 

 _This was a really lovely evening, or so Vegard recalled. The old transistor was playing a cheery jazz tune, one that made Papa Ylvisåker sing from the top of his lungs_. Duke Ellington- wasn’t it?

_The boys were preoccupied with a fairly interesting game of two-man-soccer, when suddenly Bård stopped playing. He was all flustered and there were grass stains on both of his knees, this had been a fun game, even though neither of them was ever really into sports. Vegard recalled everything about his little brother – the chubby cheeks and his adorable dimples, and how the blush made his freckles stand out. Vegard felt tempted to draw a line and test if maybe they would align in some sort of a recognizable pattern. Maybe Bård would let him? He felt himself smiling, thinking of how funny that would be. But Bård had a more pressing matter to address._

_“Vegard, “he panted. “I`m thirsty.”_

_“Yeah, me too… Let`s go and have some lemonade.”_

_Bård smiled brightly: “We`ll get some. A whole bucket, yes!”_

_“I want ice cubes in mine.”_

_Bård looked exhilarated by the prospect of ice cold lemonade, and Vegard already treasured that expression of unrepressed glee. He`d never grow tired of watching Bård smile._

_They raced each other indoors and didn’t stop to kick of their shoes in the hallway, thus dragging dirt and dewy grass all over the hallway carpet. They dashed into the kitchen and began preparing the lemonade without a single glance at Papa Ylvisåker._

_“Gentlemen, what are you doing in such a hurry?” their father enquired, still swaying to the tunes of that catchy song. He was preparing a stew for dinner and had both arms elbow deep in a large casserole of minced meat. He turned around and immediately noticed the dirty prints on the white tile floor._

_“Boys, how many times does your mother have to tell you? Take of those dirty shoes!”_

_The boys looked slightly embarrassed and mumbled their apologies, and Vegard sat down to pull of his trainers. But Bård was already rummaging through the cupboards, standing on his toes to reach the right bottle._

_Papa Ylvisåker chuckled: “Vegard, aren’t you too big to forget about it? The shoes belong by the door, not on the kitchen floor and_ certainly _not in the sofa! We need to teach Bård.” He winked. “I need my lazy little Turk to set a good example.”_

_Bård froze and his eyes widened. He had sometimes heard his father joke around, claiming that his eldest son was actually the offspring of a Turkish mailman. It was a stupid and innocent joke, addressing his son’s rather exotic looks – those dark curls and hazel eyes – that were so strikingly different from his parents and younger brother. Vegard knew this and wasn’t bothered by it, but Bård was still so little and the irony was lost on him._

_Vegard noticed his brothers’ startled reaction, but their father didn’t. He continued the loving banter, without realizing what was happening right behind his back._

_“You need to behave yourself, boy - or I will call that Turkish mailman and ask him to pick up his kid.”_

 

_Vegard saw it. He could literally observe how something snapped in Bård`s head._

 

_The next few moments were a blur. Bård threw a tantrum like none before. It came with no warnings, as he let go of the lemonade and simply collapsed. His father spun around and the casserole fell to the floor with a loud clatter, causing minced meat to spatter all over the white tiles. Bård was rolling around in the mess, screaming and spitting, and kicking his baffled father who desperately tried to shush him._

_Mama came running from the living room and was met by the sight of her husband, who had grabbed his son by the waist and was trying to pull him into an embrace. Bård was screaming and squirming, and snarling like a wild animal. He thrashed his head, and suddenly dark liquid was running from his nose. He`d had a nosebleed from this violent fit of anger. His father was struggling to hold his head back and press a sleeve under his tiny nose._

_“Bård, what are you doing!? Bård? BÅRD! Please calm down!”_

_His wife was quick to assist him, holding onto her struggling son and trying to calm him._

_“What happened? Is he hurt? Did he hurt his head!?”_

_“No – I… I don’t know… He was fine just before… I don’t know!”_

_They managed to somehow settle Bård in his mother’s arms, and she held him in a firm grip, as she began to gently rock him, stroking his hair and whispering into his ear: “Schhhh… Calm down. Calm down, Bård…. I got you, my love. I got you.”_

_The little boy gradually relaxed and his anguished screams were replaced by loud sobs. He was trembling all over, and his tiny face was wet with tears. Both his parents were too preoccupied attending to him and examining his bleeding nose, thus they didn’t notice his older brother who stood frozen to the spot, staring at Bård with a terrified expression._

_Bård whimpered something and his mother gently touched his cheek._

_“What happened?” she whispered. “Bård, why did you do that?”_

_But the little boy wasn’t paying attention to his mother, because he was looking over her shoulder, gazing straight at Vegard. His eyes were red and anguish was written all over his little face. He coughed and then said:_

_“Because Vegard will be gone.”_

 

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Bård poured himself a mug of steamy hot coffee – the third one in a few hours. Honestly, he didn’t even like that stuff, it left a foul taste on his tongue and the bitterness made him cringe. But he was exhausted and relied on the sour drink to stay alert. He gulped it down, desperately awaiting the buzz of caffeine to kick in.

He rummaged through the kitchen, retrieving a can of coke and some crackers and placed them on the table – these were among the last supplies left, just enough to sustain him for a few more days. He didn’t dare leaving his brother for long, so Bård rationed the food and tried to ignore the dull ache in the pit of his stomach.

_At least Vegard is not starving anymore._

 

For the last week or so - ever since their little outing in the backyard– Vegard had been spending most nights outside the confines of the attic. Fortunately, he never left the house, but spent most of the time in the living room, reading, watching TV or lazily strumming Bårds` guitar - seemingly calm and collected (or at least, this was how he tried to appear).

Obviously, Bård couldn’t bring himself to lock up his brother now that he finally seemed to be doing better and was apparently coming to terms with the situation. Vegard was his everything and it had been incredibly painful to witness his decline, so Bård was delighted by this sudden and unexpected improvement.

However, he was also completely worn down…

Honestly, Bård didn’t dare leaving his brother alone – not for long, anyway. Vegard wasn’t hungry anymore, but at some point the predatory urges would return, and Bård understood that he had to keep an eye on him at all times. After all, _he_ was the one who had insisted on nurturing a vampire, and _he_ was also the one who chose to free him from his tiny prison… Bård felt the burden of responsibility like a heavy weight on his shoulders. He knew exactly who was to blame if Vegard lost control and actually _hurt_ somebody… 

 

Ten years ago Bård and Vegard had sworn an oath of secrecy and allegiance, as they pledged loyalty to _The Sworn_ – the society of those who honored the legacy of Dr. Abraham Van Helsing. Those sworn are obliged to protect humanity against the beasts of ancient folklore. _They are slayers_. And the brothers were more than efficient. They worked smoothly together, conveying some sort of telepathic connection that always managed to amaze their peers. Bård loved the thrill of danger, as much as he enjoyed working with his brother.

Most people didn’t know the truth in these legends – and as a consequence the brothers had kept a vital part of their lives in the dark. The secrecy was something that only served to reinforce their already close connection.

Up until now, Bård had never questioned the morals of their side occupation. He never saw the humanity in these creatures, so the slaughtering left no mark on his conscience, and he felt nothing but satisfaction once a job was done. After all, it was a rather efficient way to release some aggressions.

_Now all that was changed…_

 

 _The Sworn_ were a secret society, governed by only a few rules, the most important one being _don’t ever speak of it._ This meant that Bård had no one to confide in, as none of his acquaintances knew the truth of his… _Other job_ …. He was fairly certain that he would never be able to rely on any of his peers either, because they would surely slaughter Vegard, no questions asked, and most of them wouldn’t even blink. The thought made his blood boil.

So Bård stayed up all night – _every night_ – and stood guard, while watching his brother and desperately contemplating how to keep him safe. He only slept during the daytime, when Vegard was unable to go anywhere. This didn’t work out for Bård, as his mind was constantly playing tricks on him, allowing him no proper rest. Usually Bård was able to sleep at any time and any place – but now he couldn’t even close his eyes without reliving those terrible moments, when Vegard was struggling beneath the monster, and then Bård repeatedly felt his heart breaking into tiny shattered bits…

_Over and over again…_

 

So Bård would stay awake all day too, wandering the house aimlessly, sustaining himself on coffee and crackers, and the occasional Take Away, because he was simply too exhausted to cook and didn’t have the nerve to go shopping anyway. There were so many difficulties ahead, and it made him dizzy to even consider those unresolved issues…

Because how was he going to explain his brother`s sudden disappearance? What would happen when friends or colleagues’ – _when family_ – began to wonder about Vegard`s whereabouts? How long would it be before somebody called the police, formed a search party, and began asking all kinds of questions? And what exactly was he supposed to tell them? Did he have the heart to fool them all? _What did Vegard want?_ This was not something they had discussed, and Bård was currently too exhausted to bring up those matters. Vegard was avoiding them too.

 

Bård went to the living room, while glancing at his watch. _23:15_ – and Vegard was already awake. There was a long night ahead of them.

The younger man stood in the doorway and watched his brother closely, assessing his appearance. Vegard was slouched on the sofa, pouring over a book. Bård had dared to venture out a few days ago, and he had gone to Vegard`s flat to hastily throw a few of his belongings into a large duffel bag, amongst those were a pile of books. Vegard was very pleased by this and was now completely immersed in a rather worn copy of _Applied Physics and Chemistry – a beginner’s guide_. It was such a familiar sight and a very comforting one. His big brother appeared so strikingly _normal_ right now, and Bård almost wanted to cry…

 

He wanted to join Vegard on the sofa, but knew that he would probably shy away, so instead he just watched him, mesmerized by the way his slender fingers would carefully turn the pages.

Vegard`s forehead was slightly creased, but Bård knew this expression and could tell that it was not a worried frown, no on the contrary. This was what Vegard looked like, when he was completely lost in his own little universe. Once in a while he would make little appreciative humming sounds, indicating that he was intrigued.

Bård shifted a bit and coughed to get his brothers attention.

“So… What are you reading?”

“Hmm? It`s uh… It`s _Applied Physics and Chemistry_. I`m reading a chapter on friction.”

“Well, fuck it - that sounds incredibly boring.”

“It`s actually rather interesting.”

 

Vegard didn’t pay more attention to his little brother, but after a few minutes of complete silence he tore his eyes off the book. Bård hadn’t moved from the doorway, and Vegard could see how his shoulders had tensed up. It looked almost painful. Bårds blue eyes appeared muddled and gray, and he looked absolutely worn down. He had lost a considerable amount of weight as well. Vegard felt his throat clench, as a wave of guilt washed over him. Bård had been guarding him for several weeks now, even though it was obvious that he was exhausted too.

Vegards voice was soft and soaked with emotion, when he finally managed to say something.

“Hey,” he whispered. “Are you okay?”

Bård looked as if he wanted to say something, but nothing came. Vegards felt sick, when he noticed the dark blue markings on the side of his brother’s neck. It had been several weeks, but the tiny puncture marks were still visible. They now had a sickly purple tint. It was almost too much to watch those obvious traces of what Vegard had done to his little brother - of how he had put him in danger, when all he ever wanted was to protect him. The love he felt was fierce and gentle at the same time, and Bård was the center of his universe. Now he just felt broken, as if he was destined to destroy everything he touched.

_This is what makes a monster._

 

Bård looked so lost and Vegard had to do something. He put the book down on the coffee table.

“You should get some rest.”

“What? No, I`m fine… I can deal with this.”

“I know, Bård… You don’t have to deal with it by yourself, though. We`re in this together, right?”

“…”

“Come – lay down a bit.”

 

Vegard immediately scooted away, when Bård came to sit by his side. He was still very cautious about getting too close, as he still didn’t trust himself. It was somewhat difficult to focus on anything else but that alluring scent of his brother… He glanced at Bård and felt his heart swell, because the younger man looked as if he was about to cry. His eyes were wet and he kept chewing on his bottom lip.

 

Bård seemed to notice his brother`s discomfort, because he was very careful to lean away from Vegard, pressing himself against the armrest. He didn’t want to make his big brother uncomfortable or to stir those dangerous urges, but he really needed this – to be just a _little_ closer than usual … His head was buzzing from exhaustion and emotional strain.

 

Vegard was too afraid of losing himself again. He didn’t want to give into those urges, so he stood up, wanting to leave the sofa for Bård - but his brother was quick to grab his hand. He looked up at Vegard with pleading blue eyes, and Vegard felt his resolve crumble, when a single tear found its way down his brother’s cheek.

“Please,” he whispered. “Don’t go.”

“Bård… I don’t know what to do.”

“Don’t do anything. Just stay.”

 

Vegard obeyed and Bård managed to scoot a little closer - pressing their thighs together, but otherwise not touching. The younger man closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the back of the couch, breathing heavily. He almost looked peaceful.

“Read to me,” he demanded.

Vegard huffed out a laugh. He was tempted to tease his brother, who usually made a point of ridiculing his cest for scientific literature - but he instantly knew that this was not the time for their usual banter. Besides, he had really missed that bossy tone - it reminded him of the way Bård used to be. So he grabbed the book from the coffee table, cleared his throat and solemnly began to read.

“Friction is- ”

Bård snuggled into his side, resting his forehead against his shoulder – and Vegard was alarmed.

“Bård...”

“Keep going.”

Vegard tensed up a bit, but couldn’t bring himself to object – not when he was completely enveloped in that lovely scent of his brothers warm body. _His hair, his lips, his warm breath..._   So he allowed the proximity and tried to focus on what he was reading.

“Friction is the force that resists the relative motion of solid surfaces and fluid layers… And material elements, when they are sliding against each other.”

 

Bård felt so good. He leaned into his brothers` form, and was almost lulled to sleep by the pleasant baritone of his quiet voice. It didn’t matter that his skin was cold, because his voice was as warm and full, and soft as it had always been. Vegard held the book with just one hand and the other one was resting on his thigh. Bård reached for it… He caressed his brothers hand, tracing it`s outline with his thumb. Their fingers interlaced and Vegard responded with a light squeeze. He closed his eyes and cherished the feeling. Bård`s heart was racing now, and Vegard sensed it too, as he could feel the vibrations through his skin. His bloodstream was like a river, and Vegard found himself craving another taste of that pure liquid.

It was in moments like this, when Vegard felt most conflicted about his predatory senses. On one hand it certainly made things difficult, when he was able to smell and sense his brother in such a way…

_But oh, how good it felt…_

 

Vegard turned his head, while his eyes were still trained on the book. He whispered into his brother’s ear, and his voice was husky and somewhat strained.

“Dry friction resists relative lateral motions of two solid surfaces in contact… “

Bård shivered and made a faint noise, almost like a breathy moan.

 

They sat like that for awhile, until Bård finally drifted off to sleep. He was breathing heavily against his older brother’s shoulder, snoring lightly and sometimes squirming a bit. Vegard held him close and then he couldn’t help himself any longer. He brushed his lips over his brother’s jaw, quickly ghosting over his warm mouth.

It was a moment of weakness, and he quickly drew back.

 

He untangled their hands, and then forced himself away from Bård. He went to the window and pressed his hands against the cold surface, desperately trying to make sense of what had just happened. The snowy weather had ceased, but the ground was still covered by a thick layer of white. It was all illuminated by the moonlight and he noticed a few odd impressions on the white surface.

_Footprints?_

Vegard felt the presence, before he properly registered what was before him. But then he raised his gaze and was startled to realize that a pair of luminous green eyes were staring right back at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That stuff on friction was pretty much quoted from Wikipedia. It`s probably not necessary, but I do want to reference my sources ;)
> 
> So: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friction


	5. Shadows and Gentlemen

_THUMP._

 

Bård felt safe. He was resting on the sofa, flat on his stomach with his face buried in the soft cushions. A strand of hair was tickling his cheek, but he didn’t bother brushing it away. He felt so warm and comfortable, and this was the first proper rest he`d had for weeks. He had trusted Vegard to protect him, he`d pushed aside this tremendous weight of responsibility and allowed himself to melt into his brothers loving embrace. It was naïve and so dangerous, but he was too exhausted to fight it. It made all the difference.

 

_THUMP._

 

Bård arched his back and yawned contently, feeling the tension dissolve as he was finally able to move unrestrictedly. As he was finally able to breathe. His nose was pressed into the soft fabric of a floral pillow, so he finally turned to his side, not caring to open his eyes. A few weeks of constant stress had left his body aching and it had been difficult calm down at first. But then he managed to zone out, he had focused solely on Vegards soft voice and his careful touch, as their fingers intertwined. Bård had marveled at the softness as he traced the outline of his brother’s cold hand. His own fingertips were slightly calloused from playing the guitar and he couldn’t help it but to drag them over Vegards palm, causing a slight friction that made his older brother shiver and gasp.

 

_THUMP._

 

Bård smiled to himself. He had needed a respite and Vegard had given him one. The pleasant baritone of his voice was so soothing when he read to his little brother and Bård couldn’t care that he didn’t understand a word of it. He loved this level of intimacy and just couldn’t bring himself to be apprehensive. There wasn’t the faintest trace of aggression in his brother’s tone and Bård was fairly certain that the monster had somehow been subdued. He could trust Vegard. This was a tremendous relief and he had actually managed to get a few hours of wonderful and undisturbed sleep.

 

_THUMP._

 

A gusty wind blew through the living room and Bård curled up, bracing himself against the sudden cold. His eyes fluttered open as he finally registered the strange noise that was disturbing his blissful state. A window was ajar repeatedly shutting and opening, when the wind swept through it. The white curtains moved in the breeze, floating like ghosts in the eerie gloom. Someone had turned off the lights, but a streak of moonlight fell through the open window and Bård was immediately aware of his brother’s absence. Suddenly he was wide awake.

 

_THUMP._

 

He pushed himself off the couch in one quick movement and hastily stumbled towards the open window. Bård was so sick of himself, so taken aback by his apparent lack of judgment. He grabbed the window sill and let out a shaky breath, as he registered the view before him.

Vegard was standing in the back yard, bathed in moonlight and frozen like a sculpture in the middle of the lawn. His feet were naked and he hadn’t even bothered to put on a sweater, but he wasn’t shivering from the cold. In fact, he wasn’t moving at all.

 

Bård was so relieved he could`ve cried. He wanted to call out his brother’s name, but then something stopped him and he immediately tensed up. He could only see the back of Vegard, but there was something alarming about his posture, about the way his shoulders hunched. Bård instantly knew that something was wrong. Vegard didn’t seem to register anything but whatever he was gazing at. Bård followed his line of vision. He was facing a small grove of pine trees at the farthest end of the yard. It was merely a tangled mess of dark green branches, partially hidden in shadows.

 

Bård didn’t waste a second getting to his brother. His heart was pounding furiously and his hands felt clammy, when he reached for the katana and unsheathed it before climbing out the open window. He`d slipped on a pair of trainers, but he felt the cold emanating from the icy ground.

Vegard hadn’t moved an inch, when Bård made his way to him. He moved without a sound, clutching his weapon with both hands and silently gliding over the moonlit surface. This elegance was the unmistakable trait of an experienced slayer, though Vegard must have heard him coming, because now he raised an arm and gestured for his brother to stay back. Bård obliged and stopped dead in his tracks. His gaze followed Vegards to the small grove. _There was nothing to see._

 

Bård let out an audible sigh. Suddenly Vegard spun around facing him, shooting a glance at the katana and then meeting Bårds gaze. His dark eyes reflected the moonlight and a few stray curls fell onto his forehead. His chest was heaving and he looked almost startled. Bård didn’t fail to notice how his upper lip had curled slightly upwards, revealing his razor sharp canines.

“Hey,” he whispered. “What are you doing out here?”

“I saw… There was… There was someone. _Something._ ”

“What are you talking about?”

“Someone is watching us.”

 

Bård felt his stomach drop. He immediately raised his weapon and anxiously scanned their surroundings. The snowy yard was a beautiful sight and nothing caught his attention. It was so quiet - _almost too quiet_ \- and the only visible movement was caused by the wind moving the branches. There wasn’t a single trace of any intruders.

“Vegard,” he said softly. “There`s no one here.”

 

A gust of snow blew off the trees and the bushes rustled slightly. Vegard stepped closer and his curls were moving in the breeze. His gaze locked on Bård and his dark eyes turned from pleading to desperate, when he grabbed his brother by the arm.

“Bård,” he croaked. “We need to go back inside. Right now.”

“Why? What is it?”

“Go back inside, Bård.”

“Let go of my arm.”

“You don’t understand -”

“Then tell me. What _is_ it?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore…”

 

Bård was shivering now, and he wasn’t sure if it was merely the cold. He was suddenly overwhelmed by an odd sense of foreboding, as if something sinister was indeed lurking in those shadows, and a cold tingle ran down his spine. He pushed the thought away, but apparently Vegard saw his reaction, because he tightened his grip on his brothers’ arm and it made Bård yelp.

“Ow! What the fuck are you –“

“Why won’t you ever _listen_ to me?”

 

Bård wasn’t able to answer that. Vegard had moved closer yet, completely ignoring the katana, though the sharp blade was hovering only inches from his face by now. His eyes looked like huge black orbs. Bård shivered as his entire body was flooded with a toxic mixture of adrenaline and fear. _And something else?_

He wanted to speak up but nothing came out. He was towering over Vegard, but at this moment Bård felt inexplicably small. His gaze dropped to the snowy ground and onto his brother`s naked feet. They should’ve been red and swollen, but they weren’t. Of course they weren’t. It didn’t even look painful.

 

Bård was thoroughly confused. His older brother was always a tad protective and maybe a little too keen on keeping Bård out of harms way - but this was more than that. Something had obviously frightened him. _This was strange._ They made a strong team and both were efficient killers, so it was a bit unusual for Vegard to be this alerted by a perceived threat, albeit one that possibly wasn’t there. Bård glanced at the little grove and felt certain that it must be weeks of emotional strain that was probably taking its toll. It had driven them both paranoid, there was no doubt about that. He trusted his brother’s refined senses, but Vegard was behaving rather strangely and a bit too erratic. There was hardly space for anything to hide between those tangled branches.

 

A muffled noise made them both jump. 

 

Bård felt the familiar vibrations against his thigh and realized what it was. He lowered his weapon and reached into his pocket with his free hand, fetching his phone. He looked at the screen and immediately felt nauseous.

“It`s Calle.”

Vegard let go of him and stumbled backwards, running a shaky hand through his dark curls. He looked even more upset than just a moment ago.

“Please,” he whispered. “Just go back inside and we`ll talk about this.”

 

Bård didn’t answer, but he had already resigned. He ventured back inside closely followed by Vegard. He didn’t answer his phone and he didn’t dare listening to the voice mail that beeped in moments later. It was bad enough that he would have to somehow explain his brother’s disappearance, surely this would be a difficult task at any time and he very well knew that the truth wasn’t really an option – but deceiving Calle, who had been such a loyal friend through good times and bad… That was almost impossible. Bård just couldn’t bring himself to do it.

 

The rest of the night was spent in uncomfortable silence. Bård was perched on the edge of the sofa, tensed up like ever before. He no longer allowed himself to indulge in childlike fantasies, because Vegard had proven him wrong. He couldn’t let him out of his sight, at least not when it was dark and Vegard was able to venture outside. Vegard sat awkwardly next to him and didn’t even bother to pretend he was reading. There was some distance between them and both were careful not to touch. Vegard couldn’t shake off that terrible feeling of something so sinister… He didn’t want Bård to worry, but at the same time there was no doubt in his mind as to whether _something_ had actually been out there. Bård frowned and Vegard immediately saw the concern in his eyes, so he straightened himself a bit and tried to sound as casual as he possibly could.

“So uh, did Calle leave a message?”

“Yeah… A few actually. He must be pretty pissed by now… Who can blame him, really? Vegard, we can`t stay here much longer or people will start to search for you.”

“Calle is our friend, you know. We could trust him.”

“That`s exactly why we shouldn’t drag him into this. It`s too dangerous.”

“You mean _I`m_ too dangerous.”

“That`s not what I said.”

“Well, it`s the truth, isn’t it?”

 

Bård bit his lip as he found himself unable to give his brother a proper response. It was almost dawn by now and some bird was chirping merrily away. Bård went to the window, then withdrew the curtains and watched the scenery outside. His home was surrounded by that very neat lawn and large pine trees were circling it. For a moment Bård just wanted to run away – he just wanted to disappear into those calming shades of green. Maybe immerse himself in the tangled mess of that tiny grove, penetrating the shadows until there was nothing unseen.

He could vividly imagine his escape… How the trees would suddenly open to a forestry landscape and not to the regular suburban street that he knew to be there. How he would run until he collapsed, curling up on the ground and covering himself with pine needles as he attempted to keep warm. He would be all alone – and God, this terrible sorrow would dissipate into thin air. He envisioned himself like a small animal and could almost taste it, when his dry tongue seeped water from the dewy leaves.

_A creature named Bård…_

 

The skies were tinted with rosy now. Vegard got to his feet and readied himself for another day spent in his gloomy prison. Bård had turned his back on him and stood quietly by the window, and Vegard understood that he couldn’t possibly say or do anything to make him feel better. So he went up the stairs to his little attic, and surely his brother followed to dutifully lock the door. It would be another ten hours before he was able to go outside, so he slumped down onto the bed and coerced his body into relaxing. It proved difficult as he was still anxious for Bård and unnerved by that sinister presence he had sensed only hours earlier. Vegard shut his eyes tightly and eventually drifted off… His sleep wasn’t peaceful, though. Soon he was whimpering quietly, as his mind was filled with disturbing images.

 

_It was Bård._

_It was the vision of his brother sprawled out beneath him, moaning and blushing. Blood was drippling from the open wound and down his slender neck. It seeped into the floorboards, creating an elaborate pattern in the wooden surface. It was intricate and devastating; it was the essence of life. Bård was crying and trembling all over, but his eyes blue eyes were pleading. Vegard reached down to touch him, stroking his flushed face and kissing those tears away. Bård was burning with fever. He groaned and forced their bodies together, and Vegard felt his entire being immerse into his brothers broken form. His pale face was beautiful as ever, but his neck was a bloodied mess and Vegard already knew it was too late. The light in his eyes was rapidly fading. Nevertheless, he kept repeating the same words over and over again…_

_“I want to help you… Please, let me help you, Vegard.”_

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Ivan shrugged off his jacket and slung it over his shoulder, as he casually made his way through the dimly lit establishment. He passed a few ladies on his way and greeted them with a court nod. It was a rather spacious bar and there weren’t a lot of guests this evening. But Ivan liked it this way as he didn’t agree with that stressful vibe of a larger crowd, their scents all mingled together into a hot mess of nothing and everything. He couldn’t make out a single individual when their pheromones got mixed up like that. Besides, he enjoyed the calm atmosphere. It was a tasteful place and simple, yet luxurious.

Ivan passed by the huge piano and immediately went for the bar. He noticed an older man standing behind the counter, and this man raised his arms in a welcoming gesture.

“Ivan, “he said. “How lovely it is to have you back.” 

“The pleasure is entirely mine, Bela.”

 

Ivan leaned against the counter and continued talking to his friend with as much enthusiasm as he could muster, which honestly wasn’t a great deal. Bela didn’t mind though. It had been a quiet evening and he was pleasantly surprised by this visit. The younger man was complaining about that dreadful snow, when he glanced at the piano and suddenly fell silent. Something was missing. _Someone._ His gaze wandered back to Bela.

“No music?”

“Sadly not. But it`s temporary, I assure you. Our pianist was a bit tiresome at times, so we had him… ahem… _disposed_ of. We`ll have to hire someone more suitable for this kind of business. A proper pianist and someone with a bit of spirit. After all, I`m not running a funeral home… Skilled musicians are hard to find these days. Besides, it really wouldn’t do with all that _ghastly_ modern rubbish.”

 

Bela spoke with a heavy accent, a distinct drawl that became much more obvious, when he was seemingly annoyed. He huffed a breath to underscore his point. 

Ivan chuckled: “Honestly Bela, you`re such a grumpy old man!”

“Well, that may be true… Are you alone this evening?”

“Oh, I am. She`s very keen at the moment… Set her eyes on someone, I`m afraid. _Fresh meat._ Brothers even - such a bizarre fascination. Not really my thing. She`s been watching them for days now, would you believe it? It`s a part of the game, I guess. They won`t survive for very long, that much is sure. You know how she is.”

Bela smiled knowingly, because he certainly did. He suddenly reached down behind the counter and then placed a tiny green flask before his guest.

“Well, then you better enjoy your nights of solitude. I believe this is what you came for.”

 

Ivan licked his lips and eagerly accepted what was offered to him. He held the tiny flask between his slender fingers and swirled around its contents, admiring the thick substance. He then took a sip and immediately hummed his appreciation, face gleaming with unrepressed ecstasy.

“You know,” he mused. “I almost feel sorry for those poor bastards... It`s just that she gets so _messy_ at times. It`s really not very nice.”

He scrunched up his nose, but his voice revealed no genuine sadness and only the slightest disdain. Bela smiled grimly and there was a vicious twinkle in his dark eyes. He leaned over the counter, palms resting on the smooth surface.

“Well,” he said. “At least it will be over quickly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To anyone who might still be reading this: thank you for being so nice and awesome! :D
> 
> Honestly, I`m not entirely happy about this chapter.... I got somewhat stuck writing it and that probably shows o_o It`s a shorter one as well. 
> 
> Oh well... My very first fic and my very first `writers block`, I guess there really is a first for everything, huh? ;)


	6. Embrace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys (well… ladies)!
> 
> So… I hope you haven`t lost all patience with these slow updates. I`ve been a bit stressed lately, but I`ll try to publish more frequently. 
> 
> This chapter is a bit of a detour – well, it doesn’t continue the storyline with Ivan and Bela, and whoever is creeping around the boys. I`m hoping that it all will make better sense, when the next chapter is up. 
> 
> Anyway, the next part is on its way and will pick up right where we left. No more cliffhangers! (*cross fingers behind back*) 
> 
> Please be honest if this ridiculously slow pace is killing you o_O I`m struggling a little with continuity and flow. 
> 
> Again, thank you for being awesome! I`m still a little psyched that anyone is actually reading this xD

Vegard rolled onto his stomach and clutched the bed sheets, whimpering with despair as unbearable sensations flooded his body. The world felt distant, as if someone had dropped a fish bowl over his head and the air filled within was humid and dense. Vegard gasped for air, _because old habits die hard._

He blinked a few times and tried to regain focus, but his vision was left blurry. A red maze had clouded his eyesight. He rubbed his eyes to no avail and then braced himself against the pain, as he licked over his burning lips with an even dryer tongue. It was probably pointless to fight this, but Vegard was adamant to control himself.

_For Bård…_

 

Vegard felt the stirrings of hunger and he knew what this meant. The predator ripped its way through every protective layer of his consciousness, clawing through his defenses until the inevitable happened, and he could no longer ignore those persistent pangs below his ribs. It was a tormenting state of hyper awareness, when even the slightest touch made him shiver with need.

There was only one remedy for this.

 

He squirmed and kicked his feet in a feeble attempt to untangle himself from the duvet. Even the bed was not a safe place anymore, because this was his brother’s house and naturally Bård`s scent was all over those _fucking_ sheets. It was faint but delicious, and it reminded Vegard of all that had passed. He so bitterly regretted the moment of weakness, when he had allowed Bård to nurture him, violating the sanctity of everything that was pure and innocent, and _right._

The guilt was a heavy burden on his shoulders, even the hunger couldn’t drown it out. He didn’t allow himself to consider it a natural reaction, when he`d given into this, because that would be the same as condoning it, or at least this was how he felt. He didn’t want to acknowledge those instincts, because somehow that would equal accepting them. All that kept him from turning into a menacing beast, was his certainty that he was more than that. But how could he really think so? After what he did to Bård? No, Vegard couldn’t and wouldn’t justify his crime. He had sworn an oath and then broken every promise, when he didn’t put an end to his miserable predicament. He could`ve chosen death, but instead he`d plunged straight into the murky depths of his primal nature, hurting the person he loved the most.

Bård was fiercely independent and - even more so - he was _incredibly_ stubborn. _Headstrong._ He wasn’t a little boy anymore and he certainly did not ask for his brother’s permission, when he had decided to put his own life on the line. But Vegard knew better. He was the older one and somehow Bård would always look to him for guidance. This made all the difference.

_I was supposed to protect you…_

 

Death was a constant now and Vegard was yearning for the comfort of blissful sleep, yet too mortified to do what was necessary. Facing the sun, well it was probably a most horrible way to go, but at least it would be quick. Starving was another matter.

He buried his face in the pillow, desperately trying to muffle the anguished moans, because he _really_ didn’t need for Bård to hear this. He couldn’t allow him to witness this pain - no, because his little brother would surely react by doing something hazardous, like trying to feed him. What a foolish thing to do. _Stupid!_

_Stupid, STUPID, stubborn, beautiful Bård… Don’t hurt yourself because of me..._

 

Vegard groaned and bit his lip. He envisioned Bård`s pleading blue eyes, when he lay vulnerable and exposed, offering his blood as a token of love. The taste was heavenly, perfectly balanced by the saltiness of his dampened skin. His frantic heartbeat had pulsed through both of their bodies... The memory caused Vegard to shudder. It was compelling to give into those persuasive whispers, but much more difficult to mend what was broken.

 

The scent of Bård was suddenly very poignant. It was heavy and saturated, caressing Vegard like a sensatory memory. It prickled his skin and lingered on his tongue, seeping through every raw surface, and suddenly his frustration had morphed into rage.

_Why does it have to be you?_

 

Vegard crawled off the bed and began pacing the small attic. _He was falling apart._ There was no sanity and no reason left, only the scattered components of what used to be a clever and well articulated mind. The predator only wanted to leech onto a viable source of life – a warm body, preferably one that was strong and healthy, untouched by this creeping coldness of death. Someone living and breathing, someone perfectly suited to _smell, touch, taste, rip, bite, drink, drink, drink…_

Vegard came to a halt. He leaned against the wall and pressed his forehead against the wooden surface, eyes closed tightly as he was trying to contain himself. He _had_ to stay grounded now. He wanted to focus on happy memories, but all were a blur and most of them didn’t even make sense anymore. Only a few remained perfectly vivid and clear.

 

_It`s a beautiful autumn morning. Vegard is sitting cross-legged on his brother’s bed, while lazily strumming his guitar. Bård is lying next to him. His long limbs are spread across the bed and he is humming along with the melody. The soft notes of music are filling the space between them, soothing every resistance until they are perfectly in tune._

_Vegard stops playing and leans back against the headboard. He repeatedly slides his fingers across the strings, and the movement only stills when Bård turns his head to look at him. They both smile._

_Bård`s eyes are a clear shade of blue and his cheeks are tinted with red. He bites his bottom lip and lowers his gaze onto Vegards hands, still resting on the guitar. The younger man is playing with a strand of dirty blonde hair and his brother doesn’t fail to recognize the mischievous spark in his eyes. Vegard puts the guitar aside and clumsily makes his way towards him, crawling on all four across the bed. Bård laughs and pulls him down into a playful wrestle, something that ends in an awkward embrace. They are both panting and Bård is hugging his brother around the waist, sliding his hands beneath the shirt, so the touch is skin on skin. His hair is tickling Vegards nose, It`s soft and a bit frizzy, and it smells like shampoo. The brothers don’t hug that often, but both are a little high on this feeling – so what does it matter?_

_Vegard doesn’t want to be anywhere else._

 

Vegard fell silent and he managed to relax just a bit, as those images filled him with a sense of calm. This was who they used to be.

 

_Bård is hunched over his desk, typing furiously on his laptop. His eyes are glued to the screen. Vegard is leaning back in his own chair, watching his brother with a satisfied half smile. He doesn’t know what Bård is writing, but he suspects that it will be something completely wacky, borderline brilliant – just like his brother._ _Soon they will join forces and work on this together, each encouraged by the others childish enthusiasm._

_Bård mumbles something. There`s a slight sunburn across the bridge of his nose, and he keeps rubbing it absentmindedly with his thumb and index finger. Vegard indeed feels like a child now, because he wants to kiss the sore spot._

 

_And then he wants to lick every inch of that gorgeous body._

 

NO!

 

Vegard howled with fury as the predator gained victory. His rage was fueled by hunger and pain- and something he wasn’t able to articulate, although it practically drove him wild.

Suddenly the stairs were creaking with quickly approaching footsteps. There was a rustling of keys, the attic was flooded with soft light and then Bård stood in the doorway, watching his brother with a startled expression.

“V-Vegard,” he whispered. “What are you doing?”

 

Vegard huffed incredulously. Bård was a slayer and this certainly wasn’t his first encounter with a starving vampire. Of course, he knew what was happening – because how _could_ he not? He was almost angered by this entirely dumb question. _Almost._ Bård was smart enough to realize that none of this would end well. He must`ve been in some sort of complete denial and his genuine concern was heartwarming, it sure was, but now _really_ wasn’t the time for any of them to let their guards down. Vegard was momentarily startled by his brothers unwavering loyalty. But then he looked at Bård and his mind went blank.

Bård had been running and was slightly out of breath. He wore a long sleeved shirt that clung to his body in just the right places, but the last couple of weeks had taken a toll on his physique and his collarbones were sharply defined. There was still a small bruise on the left side of his neck, two tiny puncture wounds that were barely visible anymore. Vegard recognized his mark. The sight made his skin crawl, _but God, he wanted more._

 

Bård walked to him and now Vegard wasn’t able to voice his apprehension. He flinched as his brother placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. Bård was getting uncomfortably close, apparently disregarding his recent inclination to keep a safe distance. He was taller, so it was rather difficult to look past him. Vegard swallowed hard, because he was so confused.

_What are you doing? Why don’t you see me for what I am?_

 

Bård cocked his head and considered his brother with big pitiful eyes. Vegard could barely contain himself, because he was too close already, getting so lost in that lovely musk - alluring and sweet, and poignant in the most delicious way. His chest vibrated, when a low growl forced its way from deep inside, and Bård shivered but stood his ground. Vegard recoiled in horror as he realized what his brother had in mind.

“No, Bård… No! Not again. Never again, your hear me?”

Bård hissed: “Vegard, _for fucks sake_ , it`s not like we have a choice!”

“Oh but, we do have a choice. I have a choice!”

“Yeah? Would you care to enlighten me?”

 

Bård was stubborn, but Vegard saw the fear in his eyes. He pushed his hand away and took a few steps back, before he ventured to answer him.

“Bård,” he whispered. “You have to leave now.”

“But – “

“No. You can`t be here … I don’t _want_ you here. Please understand.”

“Understanding won`t fix anything.”

“Well, neither will this!”

 

Bård exhaled slowly and his expression softened. Maybe he was startled by his brother’s fury, though not really surprised. It wasn’t typical for him to act out like that, yet Bård understood exactly why it had happened. Vegard was starving and imprisoned, rapidly changing for the worse. This was hardly an ordinary situation.

“Vegard,” he said. “Don’t be afraid. Look, we`ve already done this… Remember? You won`t hurt me. Not like that. You`ll be careful, I know you will… _I`ll be fine._ You`ll just take a little bit and then– “

“DON`T TOUCH ME!”

 

Bård yelped as he was brutally shoved backwards into the wall. The impact was like a punch in the gut, forcing the air out of his lungs in one painful wheeze. Vegard had pushed him with all his strength, not realizing that he was no longer at match for that. Bård clutched his chest and looked at his brother, who was obviously surprised by his own actions.

“Oh no,” he breathed. “Bård I`m so sorry! I didn’t want to… I didn’t mean to – “

“I know…”

 

Of course he knew. He also understood that Vegard had made up his mind, and that there was absolutely _nothing_ left to do – apart from watching his decline. Bård felt so small. Suddenly he was the one who couldn’t control himself. He struggled to stay calm, but his eyes were stinging with unwelcome tears. His brother didn’t move. He only averted his gaze to focus on a point somewhere below his brother`s chin, because he couldn’t stand to watch him cry.

“Bård,” he said calmly. “We can`t do this anymore. This isn’t right, don’t you see?”

“ _Don’t…_ Don’t tell me not to help you.”

“You could turn. I don’t suppose that`s what you want?”

“I don’t give a fuck!”

“Well, _I_ do!”

 

Bård drew a shaky breath, but he didn’t exhale. His lips trembled, yet he fixed his brother with a defiant stare. Tears were streaming down his face, and Vegard had to stop himself, because his first reaction was to reach out for him – _to hold him…_ It was so unlike Bård to display his emotions like that, and right now he looked absolutely broken. His hands curled into fists and he clenched until his knuckles went white, desperately trying to regain some control.

“I hate you,” he croaked. “I fucking hate what you do to me.”

“That`s too bad,” Vegard whispered. “Because I`m pretty sure that I love you.”

 

Bård made a tiny noise and his eyes filled with tears once again. This time Vegard didn’t hesitate. He closed the distance, and opened his arms and Bård flung himself around his brother`s neck. He braced himself against Vegards solid form and finally exhaled in a long shaky breath, crying soundlessly into his neck. Vegard cuddled him like a small child and completely ignored the stabbing pains of hunger. Time and place ceased to exist, and so did the rules that governed their affection.

Bård took a step back to wipe his face with the sleeve of his shirt, but Vegard grabbed his hand and pressed it to his lips. He then cupped his face and tenderly continued to kiss both cheeks, savoring the warmth of his brother`s soft skin and the saltiness of his tears. Bård`s heart picked up speed and a hot wave surged through his body, while he was showered with gentle kisses.

_Just breathe…_

 

 

Vegards lips grazed over the corner of his open mouth, and they quietly moaned in unison. His lips were buzzing from the touch, and a tingling sensation spread all through his body, drowning out the rage and replacing it with another kind of fire. Bård was bright and beautiful, and right there in his arms.

Bård stepped closer and pressed their cheeks together, while his slender arms came to rest around his brother’s waist. His breath felt like little puffs of hot air, humid and scented - a perfect reminder of the final gap between them. Vegard almost moved away, but Bård felt him shift and was quick to follow. They swayed for a moment, caught between two levels of gravity.

_And finally they were close enough._

Bård whimpered and pressed their lips together, and their hands found each other for support. Vegard made a startled noise, but Bård caught his lower lip and gently bit down on it, refusing to let him pull away. His mouth was hot and wet, and he moaned against Vegards lips - as if he was trying to breathe for them both.

They stood like that for what felt like mere seconds. Then Bård let go and his brother immediately stumbled backwards, pressing a hand against his burning lips – staring at Bård as if the man had just punched him. The world had gone silent apart from their ragged breaths.

 

“I… I`m sorry,” Bård gasped.

Vegard swallowed hard, but he couldn’t refuse his brothers gaze. Those eyes were shiny with tears and his full lips were parted in a silent `o`. He looked exhausted from the emotional strain, but there was an intense fire burning in his eyes, and finally Vegard was able to pinpoint the _exact_ feeling that drove him into oblivion. He was disgusted and aroused, and utterly devastated, because he couldn’t deny it any longer.

_It was always you._

 

He took a few steps away, bracing himself against the overpowering emotions. His tortured mind was unable to process what was happening just now. Bård slowly closed the distance and dipped down for another kiss, but Vegard merely slipped to the floor, unable to carry the weight of what they were doing. He leaned against the bed and allowed for Bård to settle in his lap, resting between his brothers legs. They stayed like that, soaking in the gentle connection of limbs and bodies, and hearts.

Bård`s plea was barely audible, but Vegard knew it by heart: “Don’t leave me…"

_Never leave. I am yours._

 

Bård had slipped down, so his face was pressed against Vegards chest. His breathing was heavy, but slightly less labored.

“Vegard?” he mumbled. “One more thing.”

“Hmm?”

“I`m still not afraid of you.”

“So you say.”

 

Vegard couldn’t help himself, when a tiny smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. Bård nuzzled closer to him and hooked his leg around his brothers, before he reached to touch his chin. He rubbed the scratchy stubble, creating a gentle friction that almost caused his brother to purr.

“You can`t tell me not to fight for you… We`re brothers. It doesn’t work that way.”

“Fuck it,” he sighed. “Bård – why don’t you ever let things go? You`re just incredibly stubborn…”

“Well, that makes two of us, doesn’t it?”

 

Vegard felt his brother tremble, and he pressed a tender kiss to his forehead. Bård looked up at him, still nuzzled against his chest. He looked so young right now and his eyes were impossibly blue, surrounded by dark lashes. A tear fell down the side of his jaw, creating a wet trail across a few pale freckles. He reminded Vegard of that 5 year old boy who was utterly heartbroken, because his Papa had told a stupid joke about a Turkish mailman.

 

 

“Please,” Vegard mumbled. “Don’t cry anymore. I`m so sorry… About all of this.”

“I know. Me too… I- I love you… You`re fucking obnoxious sometimes, but I love you.”

“Shit, I hate this. I don’t know what to say… I can`t say goodbye to you.”

“We don’t have to say goodbye. Not yet.”

“But- “

“I know what to do.”

 

_And he did._

 

Bård untangled their legs and dragged himself to stand. He went for the door and unlocked it, briefly glancing at his baffled brother. Vegard was frozen on the floor. He looked so lost and his dark eyes were searching for answers.

“Don’t go anywhere,” Bård commanded. He stepped outside without looking back. Vegard heard the keys rustle and quick steps ascending the stairs. He remained still and stared into the darkness, desperate to make sense of everything he felt. His brother`s words were lingering somewhere in his mind.

_Don’t go anywhere._

“I won’t.”


End file.
